Gabriel’s heart - please keep him and his family in your prayers!!!

May 8th, 2007

My friend Emily’s son Gabe is going back for another heart surgery - he is the awesome brother to Lily’s friend EJ from T21.  Please think of him and his family through this scary time and send lots of positive healing vibes their way!  They truly are an amazing family and we are saying lots of prayers!  Sending lots of great heart vibes from one heart buddy to another - and kisses too from Lily!

Feeling the Love across Cyberspace

Something more…..

May 5th, 2007

A very neat story of Mom’s who get babies with something more…

Some Mothers Get Babies With Something More

written by: Lori Borgman Columnist and Speaker

My friend is expecting her first child. People keep asking what she
wants. She smiles demurely, shakes her head and gives the answer
mothers have given throughout the ages of time. She says it doesn’t
matter whether it’s a boy or a girl. She just wants it to have ten
fingers and ten toes. Of course, that’s what she says. That’s what
mothers
have always said. Mothers lie.

Truth be told, every mother wants a whole lot more. Every mother
wants a perfectly healthy baby with a round head, rosebud lips,
button nose, beautiful eyes and satin skin.
Every mother wants a baby so gorgeous that people will pity the
Gerber baby for being flat-out ugly.
Every mother wants a baby that will roll over, sit up and take those
first steps right on schedule (according to the baby development
chart on page 57, column two). Every mother wants a baby that can
see, hear, run, jump and fire neurons by the billions. She wants a
kid that can smack the ball out of the park and do toe points that
are the envy of the entire ballet class.
Call it greed if you want, but we mothers want what we want.

Some mothers get babies with something more.
Some mothers get babies with conditions they can’t pronounce, a
spine that
didn’t fuse, a missing chromosome or a palette that didn’t close.
Most of
those mothers can remember the time, the place, the shoes they were
wearing
and the color of the walls in the small,suffocating room where the
doctor
uttered the words that took their breath away. It felt like recess
in the
fourth grade when you didn’t see the kick ball coming and it knocked
the
wind clean out of you.
Some mothers leave the hospital with a healthy bundle, then,
months, even years later, take him in for a routine visit, or
schedule her for a well check, and crash head first into a brick wall
as they bear the brunt of devastating news. It can’t be possible!
That doesn’t run in our family. Can this really be happening in our
lifetime?
I am a woman who watches the Olympics for the sheer thrill of seeing
finely
sculpted bodies. It’s not a lust thing; it’s a wondrous thing. The
athletes
appear as specimens without flaw - rippling muscles with nary an
ounce of
flab or fat, virtual powerhouses of strength with lungs and limbs
working in
perfect harmony. Then the athlete walks over to a tote bag, rustles
through
the contents and pulls out an inhaler.
As I’ve told my own kids, be it on the way to physical therapy after
a third knee surgery, or on a trip home from an echo cardiogram,
there’s no such thing as a perfect body.
Everybody will bear something at some time or another. Maybe the
affliction will be apparent to curious eyes, or maybe it will be
unseen, quietly treated with trips to the doctor, medication or
surgery. The health problems our children have experienced have been
minimal
and manageable, so I watch with keen interest and great admiration
the
mothers of children with serious disabilities, and wonder how they
do it.
Frankly, sometimes you mothers scare me. How you lift that child in
and out of a wheelchair 20 times a day. How you monitor tests, track
medications, regulate diet and serve as the gatekeeper to a hundred
specialists yammering in your ear. I wonder how you endure the
clichés and
the platitudes, well-intentioned souls explaining how God is at work
when
you’ve occasionally questioned if God is on strike. I even wonder
how you
endure schmaltzy pieces like this one — saluting you, painting you
as hero
and saint, when you know you’re ordinary. You snap, you bark, you
bite. You
didn’t volunteer for this. You didn’t jump up and down in the
motherhood
line yelling, “Choose me, God! Choose me! I’ve got what it takes.”
You’re a
woman who doesn’t have time to step back and put things in
perspective, so,
please, let me do it for you.
From where I sit, you’re way ahead of the pack. You’ve developed the
strength of a draft horse while holding onto the delicacy of a
daffodil. You have a heart that melts like chocolate in a glove box
in July, carefully counter-balanced against the stubbornness of an
Ozark mule. You can be warm and tender one minute, and when
circumstances require intense and aggressive the next. You are the
mother, advocate and protector of a child with a disability. You’re a
neighbor, a friend, a stranger I pass at the mall. You’re the woman
I sit
next to at church, my cousin and my sister-in-law. You’re a woman
who wanted
ten fingers and ten toes, and got something more.

You’re a wonder.

Ben….

April 26th, 2007

What a great Christmas memory this will always be…. Ben....

Ben this is for you…..

April 26th, 2007

Usually all my posts are about Lily…. But, unfortunately with incredible sadness, I found out last Sunday that Ben, my son Dustin’s best friend had taken his life….  Broken is such a soft word to say how hard this has hit us all….  Our life will never be the same without Ben in it!

Today was the funeral and Dustin and his two friend’s were Pallbears - talk about a moment that will tear any mom’s heart apart watching her son and his two friends carrying Ben’s casket in.  No words can express how heart wrenching that was!  But, Dustin held so strong - read what he wrote about Ben at the cemetary and had lots of us smiling and laughing!!!!!  Dustin was the rock of Gibralter yesterday and today!  There are so many moments about Ben that I remember, but mostly of all we all loved Ben!  I have so much more to say and am hoping to blog about it this weekend.  Just keep Ben’s family in your heart and prayers!  And hold Dustin up high to the Lord.  Ben would have been so amazed by the outpouring of love for him!  still so very tough!  HE deserved so very much!!!!!

 

Lisa

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April 21st, 2007

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Thanking God for the doctor that walked into my life today…..

April 12th, 2007

And for those who are wondering…. No, Dr. Clark did not pop in and propose….. sigh…….

It was actually the Pediatric surgeon and his nurse who were our light today!  Had we not met I wonder what could have gone wrong…..  This is the surgeon who was to do the biopsy on Lily for Hirschsprung’s disease….  I already posted this on my support group so I am just going to copy and paste below, but you will see how thankful we are today!

Back from Lily’s Pediatric surgeon, feeling kind of stressed…..

Ok, so feeling kind of stressed is totally not a new concept. I just really needed to vent here about it and also it may help someone else who is in a similar situation. The reason for the visit was for the consult for the biopsy for Hirschsprung’s disease to be coordinated with her tear duct surgery next month. The doctor and nurse there were great - the nurse checked Lily from head to toe really listened to me and her long list of issues from the time she was born and the doctor was great as well! In fact, I have to wonder what would have happened if I had not seen this doctor??? What I am talking about is the fact that this surgeon really really really cautioned me about Lily’s need to have this biopsy done. He was questioning her GI doctors’ decision to do an open biopsy and really really had me questioning what I had not questioned which scared the crap out of me! He thinks the biopsy is way too invasive when other measures should have been taken first, such as getting her completely cleaned out which he said could take up to 6 months. He is not sure why her GI doc did not suggest this first. I did explain to him that I have not been back to see the GI doctor since first putting her on Miralax last year (gave him all the history) and that this conversation with the doc to have the biopsy arose over the phone. I just assumed it was the next thing to do! This surgeon questioned why the doctor would not have done some other type of biopsy which is done in the office and much less invasive. I told him that the GI doctor said there were other tests that could be done, but if any of them were positive we would have to have this surgical biopsy done anyway. I told him that the doctor said well of course it was up to me and this surgeon just looked in shock! At which point I felt like I should have really questioned the GI doctor as well. And like I told him after I thanked him a million times that hey her GI is the doctor - how am I supposed to make a call like that? And I just got the feeling like he was just amazed. I feel terrible!!! I thought this GI doctor was excellent!!! ANd here I was all ready to have my little girl have this biopsy done without really even second guessing it. This surgeon thinks that Lily would have much more signs of Hirschsprung’s if it were that. He said clinically she does not present much signs besides the constipation and like he said we just can’t say oh she is constipated let’s jump to Hirschsprung’s. It could be that Lily’s colon has never had a chance to get back down to it’s normal size which could cause her to start having problem’s controlling her BM’s. SO, this surgeon is going to call her GI directly and go over all of these issues with him and said I don’t need to worry he will get everything straightened out and call me back after he speaks with him.

And then of course we did find out one other thing…. Lily has (on top of the herniated belly button and heart surgery scar hernia) a couple of more hernia’s in her abdomen. I think he called them gastro something hernia’s. He said these will not close up on her own and they do need to be repaired! So, he said I would worry more about getting these hernia’s fixed before I would worry about Hirshsprung’s….

So, I am thankful we saw this doctor today. I have learned I really need to make sure not only am I on top of things, but that also I know for sure exactly that Lily does need to have any procedure done. I have really always trusted her doctors! They have been so good! But, also this doctor has not seen Lily since last year and we made the decision on the phone for the biopsy. The surgeon told me that he would not want his daughter going through it if she were in the same position that Lily is in right now….

Thanks for letting me vent! I feel so frustrated!!!
 

Who knows if we had gone through with this what complications that could have happened that did not even need to.   My word of caution to everyone is to really question things.  I always felt I have done that, but had I not met this doctor today - I would have put Lily through this biopsy which the doctor said is considered an open biopsy and very invasive….  I thank God for Dr. Lelli today!!!!!

 

Guess I should never say “Never a dull moment”…..

April 4th, 2007

In fact, maybe a few dull moments of peaceful snuggles and play time and relaxation and just being would be good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Well, after I so abruptly ended my last night’s blog me and Lily headed to the ER for another not so fun-filled night for Lily!  Her Ped suggested I take her to ER because after vomiting she was just like a wet noodle in my arms and stayed like that for a couple of hours….  Turns out after IV, bloodwork, urinalysis which absolutely broke my heart that Lily had to be catheterized, abdomen xrays and 2 enemas ibecause it was determined that Lily was completely backed up right up to her stomach!  No fever which suggested it might either be major constipation which she has had just not so severe or of course she could have that and the stomach flu or it could an underlying cause such as Celiac’s disease or Hirschsprung’s disease.   Lily spike a fever this morning of 103.4 and I thought we were going to end back up at ER.  We had only been home for about 2 hours (and we did not get home till 4:30am or 5:00am)….

But, I spoke with her GI doctor today and she is to go back on Miralax asap daily and we have also scheduled a biopsy for Hirschsprung’s disease.  Fortunately, they will be able to coordinate the biopsy surgery with her upcoming tear duct surgery….. 

Seems to always be something lately!!!!

Spring is here right????  Yes, of course it is somewhere hiding…..

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April 4th, 2007

 

Never a dull moment…..

April 3rd, 2007

What a week 1/2 it has been!  Lily was hospitalized about 10 days ago with Pneumonia!  We were there from Friday through Monday late afternoon!!!  I realized that it was alot easier being in the hospital with Lily when she was 6 months old as opposed to 2 1/2 years old!  WHEW!  She is so much feistier and stronger these days!  She was doing pretty rough, but is doing much better today!  I sure hope we can stay out of the hospital for the rest of the year!  I did find out that Lily will require another surgery in about 2 years to repair her herniated belly button and a small henia underneath her heart surgery scar. 

Gotta run Lily just threw up!!!!!!!!!!!!  YIKES!!!!!!!!!!!

An incredible write up in the New Oxford Review - American Genocide

March 18th, 2007
WHY DO WE MURDER DOWN SYNDROME BABIES?
American Genocide

February 2007By Charles & Donna James 

Charles James, with the help of his wife, Donna, authored this article. Charles James is an Associate Professor of Philosophy and the Director of the Pre-Theology Program at St. Patrick’s Seminary in Menlo Park, California. Donna James, RN, worked at Alta Bates Hospital in Berkeley, California, for five years and specializes in obstetric nursing.

My wife fell exhausted into a huge green chair in the lobby of the Red Lion Hotel. We had survived a Christmas dinner with former parishioners whose two boys, mixed with ours, created a chemical reaction that left us shell shocked. Friends of a former parish had invited us to Christmas dinner at their Modesto, Calif., home. Peter Broderick and his wife, Carla Bratcher, were hard workers in our former parish. They both ran busy practices as family physicians. We came from Oakland, driving through the thick tule fog for the better part of the trip. Just after crossing the Altamont Pass, the fog wrapped around our car like molasses around a spoon, making it impossible to see five feet in front of us. So we decided to spend the night in a hotel.After dinner we wished the Broderick family a “merry Christmas,” packed the kids into the car, and headed downtown to our hotel. After getting the boys into bed, my wife and I fell asleep immediately. The long drive from Oakland combined with the all-but-peaceful Christmas dinner had done us in. The temperature in the valley had dropped to freezing that Christmas night, which taxed us even more. Everything felt ten times worse for my wife, since she was eight months pregnant.

Knowing my family was secure, I said my prayers and fell asleep. But we enjoyed little rest that night. At two o’clock in the morning, Donna’s water broke — a month early. We would never have traveled to Modesto, we would never have separated ourselves so far from our doctors, and away from the hospital where Donna was pre-registered had we anticipated such an event. Of course, every expectant mother is told that premature delivery is possible at any time during a pregnancy. But we had never let that fear restrict us before.

I woke up our friend Carla with a phone call and told her that Donna’s water had broken and it looked like our baby was to be born in Modesto that night. Carla, who had delivered our third son, faithfully met us at Modesto’s Memorial Hospital. Donna’s labor was unusually brief compared to her other deliveries, and our new son came into the world on December 26. We named him Christian Augustus James.

When my oldest boy, Zachary, first saw Christian, he noticed that his new brother didn’t look like the rest of the family. Christian’s face looked too round and his almond-shaped eyes bore no family resemblance. His arms and legs were extremely floppy as the doctor lifted him away from his mother. And, most notably, he was too quiet, far too quiet. As I looked into his face, I noticed the strange design of his eyes. On his irises I noticed tiny colored dots tightly surrounding the pupil. Later I was to learn that all these peculiar traits indicate Down syndrome. Carla had observed the same traits, but her training and experience helped her make a rapid, but tentative, diagnosis. Wanting to be sure, she called the pediatrician on duty that night, and he agreed with her diagnosis. When I saw those two doctors leaning over Christian, their faces serious with concern, I knew something was wrong. In a few minutes, Carla walked into Donna’s room and, with tears in her eyes, told us that Christian had Down syndrome. Then she prayed with us.

Other parents of Down syndrome children contacted us almost immediately. There exists an invisible family, a national network, of thousands of parents, grandparents, and adoptive parents who raise Down syndrome kids. These parents refuse to abort their Down syndrome babies simply because they are warned of the inconvenience of a “disabled” child. They also refuse to send them away to a state institution. They believe that God has His plans and ways with men, and our job is to abide in His will. “A man’s heart plans the course of his own way, but the Lord directs his steps” (Prov. 16:9).

I quickly realized that this Down syndrome community shares all the traits of a family. These people told us that because of Christian’s presence in our family, a transformation would occur in all of us that we never imagined. They told us that Christian would create in his siblings a kind of love rarely seen in children — a mature, self-sacrificing love. They told us that he would become the central light of our family and that we would experience an indescribable love for him and especially from him. Each stage of his development would be a miracle: his first step, his first tooth, his first word.

Still reeling from the news of our son’s disability, all this positive news was difficult for me to accept. Yet all of it became wonderfully true as we watched Christian develop. The first steps in his development were delayed a bit, but when they finally arrived, our family rejoiced all the more. Christian is best described as aggressively interested in everything, especially other children and puppies. If his rambunctious older brothers forget to include him in their activities, he makes sure he is involved by inconveniently inserting himself into their plans. He attacks any situation with utter enthusiasm and wonder. When he meets a new friend his size, we often have to protect the unsuspecting prospect from unsolicited hugs and kisses. Christian simply expresses his unconditional love for everybody anywhere. At his birth, however, we were soon to learn that our son had other challenges to face.

Before we left the hospital in Modesto it became obvious that Christian was not digesting his mother’s milk. Something was blocking the milk’s flow through his intestine. X-rays revealed that Christian’s lower intestine had not fully formed. This condition is called duodenal atresia, a common occurrence in Down syndrome newborns. So, after learning that Christian had Down syndrome, we were told that he would have to undergo immediate surgery. A highly respected doctor known for his success in pediatric surgery practiced at Children’s Hospital in Oakland. The Modesto doctors contacted Children’s Hospital requesting an ambulance, specialized personnel, and life-sustaining transport equipment for Christian.

An ambulance was dispatched from Oakland with a crew of five: an emergency physician, a respiratory therapist, a nurse, and two emergency medical technicians. It took them an hour to arrive at Memorial Hospital in Modesto. I’m not ashamed to say that when I saw that group of medical professionals burst though the automatic doors of the labor and delivery department with all their equipment and concern, I broke down. It moved me deeply to see how this team of people responded with such dedication and skill to save the life of this little, day-old boy in a city far away. It astonishes me that our society has become so confused and calloused that it can fight to save an infant life tonight and carry out scheduled abortions in the morning. Is the tyranny of personal convenience such a slave master that we have become the unwitting arbiters of life and death? The nurses placed Christian in the portable incubator. I worried that he might not make the journey, even though he was in the best of care. We all stood frightened, yet hopeful, as they quickly wheeled Christian to the ambulance.

A six-foot-three Nigerian doctor met us at Children’s Hospital in the early morning hours and explained what he was going to do. We felt completely confident with him because he had successfully performed this procedure many times. He assured us that everything would be fine. Then he bowed his head and prayed for Christian. It struck us that at each step of the way God had provided us with Christian doctors to care for our son. It was one of those lessons of life that my children will never forget. They saw the Christian faith alive and well in real-life situations. Christian came through the surgery perfectly, just as Dr. Ido had predicted. Christian spent the next month in the intensive care nursery at Children’s Hospital. Donna went every day to tend to Christian, to hold him, and to watch his every move. The neonatal intensive care nursery is a place few people ever see. As we looked into the cribs and incubators at babies with catastrophic problems, we found ourselves praying for them. It was a place of great pain, but also a place of abiding hope.

As Christian awoke from surgery, I watched him as his eyes struggled to open. I counted eleven monitor wires and tubes attached to his body. Some of them were inserted into his body, others were taped to his delicate skin. I wanted to be the first person he saw when he opened his eyes. I was feeling bad about my first reaction on hearing the news that he had Down syndrome. When Carla first told us, I became angry. I wasn’t angry at God; I was just inexplicably angry. Christian’s disability had shattered my false image of the “perfect family.” That image was broken; no longer was my family “perfect.” It is disabled. Certainly this is a false image of the family (and a false standard), because no family is perfect. But I believe now that the image of “the perfect family” that I held in my imagination was completely self-centered. It was a perfect family because my family could be none other than perfect. If it is not perfect then I’m not perfect, and I can’t stand the world knowing that I am not perfect. So when I heard that one of my children was disabled, it made me angry because I felt that Christian’s disability reflected on me. In other words, I wasn’t thinking of Christian but of myself.

So I determined that the first thing Christian saw when he awoke from surgery would be the face of his proud Dad. When he finally opened his eyes, I said to him, “I’m sorry, son, that I got angry. I’m sorry that I was not there for you when you needed me most. I promise you that as long as I live, I’ll always be there for you.” As I said this, I was astonished as Christian moved his eyes to look directly into mine, as if to say, “I know, Dad. It’s O.K.”

In the U.S. today 85 to 90 percent of Down syndrome babies are selectively put to death. They are selectively aborted by their own mothers, usually on the advice of their physician. Eighty-five to ninety percent! Given the fact that Down syndrome people share all the characteristics of a community, such as social cohesion, a shared knowledge (of the disability), and an utter abhorrence of the destruction of their community, I wondered whether America was practicing its own form of genocide. Recently, attending a Down Syndrome League dinner, I asked the families at my table the following question: “If you could go back and correct the genetic abnormality in your baby, would you do it?” Everyone said “No.” They all said that they would not change their families at all. I then asked them if they would choose to have the same child, but without the genetic abnormality. They all said “No.” They explained that the Down syndrome child is a unique individual and that Down syndrome defines the child as uniquely as any other genome (genetic pattern). I was amazed. Here were middle- to upper-class Americans who are accustomed to having everything they want, and they were telling me that what the world may call abnormal they call normal. But more than this, they told me that their child was an untold blessing to their families, bringing to it what their “normal” children could not provide. Moreover, the overwhelming number of people with Down syndrome will tell you that their life is good and that they experience happiness.

The technology of prenatal screening has advanced significantly in the past twenty years. There are several tests, each providing different degrees of accuracy. For instance, pregnant women may choose non-invasive prenatal test to determine the possible defects in their babies. The Triple Screen test measures various proteins and pregnancy hormones. The test is done during the window of the 15th to 20th week of pregnancy. It can detect 60 percent of Down syndrome pregnancies. However, this test has a 6.5 percent Initial Positive Rate, meaning that in 6.5 percent of the cases this test will give a positive result indicating Down syndrome. But the overall statistical chance of having a Down syndrome baby is only 0.1 percent. Therefore, this test will give a very high percentage of false positive results. In other words, many pregnant women will be told their babies probably have Down syndrome when in fact their babies are completely normal. And many misinformed women will choose to abort these perfectly normal babies. Even with more accurate non-invasive tests, such as the AFP/Free Beta Screen, which can be performed between the 13th and 22nd week of pregnancy, providing a detection rate of 80 percent, the percentage of false positives is 3 percent. False positives can be caused by undetected twins, an incorrect date of pregnancy, or normal variations in the proteins.

The most familiar prenatal test is amniocentesis. This is a very accurate test, detecting over 99.8 percent of all genetic problems in preborn babies, and has a very low false positive rate. However, it is an invasive procedure that requires taking amniotic fluid from the mother to identify fetal cells. The risk of spontaneous abortion due to amniocentesis is 1 in 200 to 1 in 300 women.

The sobering fact is that the advancing technology that increases our ability to detect genetic abnormalities in preborn babies has also led to their destruction through abortion. Because the selective abortion rate is so high for Down syndrome babies in the U.S., Canada, and Britain, the Down syndrome population has dramatically decreased. Whereas 1,500 children with Down syndrome should statistically be born per year, only 63 per annum were listed in the 1995 birth register.

The question is, what justifies our decision to kill? What quiets our conscience as we kill these disabled babies? It certainly isn’t the result of moral reflection on the ethical implications of abortion. Most people have no time to think through this momentous, complicated ethical question. Physicians routinely fail to inform the pregnant patient of her options other than abortion, such as adoption, support groups for parents with Down syndrome children, and agencies that help parents with disabled children. Moreover, doctors and government officials habitually give expectant mothers outdated information about the life expectancy of, the availability of vitamin supplemental treatment for, and the remarkable potential of achievement among Down syndrome children. Down syndrome people have graduated from high school and gone to college. They have written books about their lives, become actors, writers, and artists. Yet the authoritative figure of the physician “warns” the pregnant mother that a Down syndrome baby will be extremely expensive, that she doesn’t have the skills to take care of such a baby, and that the quality of life of the child will be unacceptable. The expectant mother is usually intimidated by the doctor’s warning. The father’s ego can’t handle the dreaded public embarrassment of having a retarded son or daughter. The decision is made.

This is called eugenics — the selective elimination of defective offspring for the purpose of strengthening the genetic stock. It is as old as the Bible and it is still practiced today in animal and plant cultivation. But it was also practiced by the Nazis to eliminate disvalued human beings. Thousands of persons deemed genetically inferior, including Down syndrome men, women, and children, were murdered by the Nazis so that they would not pass on their genetic kind to future generations. Whether Jew or Gentile, it didn’t matter. In Hitler’s Germany, Down syndrome adults and children were the offspring of a “mongrelized” race from which society needed “cleansing.” In the Nazi quest for purity of race, children and adults who did not mirror the picture of perfection were phased out of the genetic pool. And what was the Nazi picture of perfection? It was what that culture called normal, strong, and beautiful. This was considered the “common good” of German society at that time.

Today, America practices genetic cleansing of its own people. We are cleansing our society of Down syndrome babies — all in the name of perfection and personal choice. Of course, this personal freedom, so dear to Americans, would not be so destructive if we remembered the Catholic teaching on the dignity of the human being. Pope John Paul II was right when he said that the most important question of the 21st century would be, “What is a person?” Today, we stand at the edge of an abyss in which we see a nightmarish technocracy that has taken on a life of its own. This Dr. Frankenstein cares little about the Culture of Life, and blusters on with little regard for moral reasoning. Ours is a society whose technology has become self-generating and self-justifying. In the meantime, we “cleanse” our society of a family of people by means of a silent genocide that no one questions.

Now, someone may say that preborn Down syndrome babies are not to be compared to preborn babies with horrific heart defects, severe brain abnormalities, or who have organs developing on the outside of their bodies. These conditions are considered “lethal abnormalities.” If born alive, these babies will likely survive a very short time. However, in Canada, at Edmonton’s Royal Alexandra Hospital, Down syndrome is considered a “lethal abnormality.” Spokesman Donna Angus says that although only a “handful” of late-term abortions are done, they are reserved for “lethal abnormalities.” What is chilling is that during an interview, Ms. Angus admitted that Down syndrome is considered a lethal abnormality and thus qualifies for a late-term abortion. However, because Canadian law does not permit abortions of Down syndrome babies beyond 20 weeks of pregnancy, the hospital sends mothers of preborn Down syndrome babies here to the U.S. to have their abortions. Hundreds of pregnant Canadian women choose to travel to the U.S. where genetic cleansing is common practice. Prolife groups denounce Alberta’s practice of sending expectant mothers over the border for what advocates call “genetic terminations.”

Why this rush to destroy our disabled children? Isn’t it morally worse to kill a disabled preborn baby as compared to a normal one? Isn’t this the worse violation of social justice? Too many American Catholics demonstrate for the rights of illegal immigrants but keep silent about this genocide. Too many Catholics are stridently vocal against the death penalty but say nothing about the genetic cleansing of Down syndrome babies. Are these Catholics unaware that eugenics has a history in America advocated by the likes of Oliver Wendell Holmes, a eugenics enthusiast and social Darwinist (”three generations of imbeciles are enough”)? Don’t they know that at one time eugenics was offered as a solution to the illegal immigration problem in the U.S.? Are they ignorant of the fact that the Nazi Third Reich awarded the American eugenicist Charles Davenport an honorary degree for his American work in “racial hygiene”? Read about it in Harry Bruinius’s book Better for All the World: The Secret History of Forced Sterilization and America’s Quest for Racial Purity (Knopf, 2005). How have we developed this moral blind spot that allows us to place people into a caste system of “fit” and “unfit”? We are systematically eliminating a community of human beings from American society. Why do our priests and bishops remain silent about this in their homilies? Why don’t our bishops take the moral leadership and speak against such a heinous practice? Where is their courage?

Christian is now seven years old, and I watch as he swims in our backyard pool. He throws a yellow ball to me and I throw it back. When I miss his throw or drop the ball, he laughs uncontrollably. To think that his Dad could drop the ball! He misses a step and his head sinks under the water. I jump out of my chair, but he comes sputtering up, laughing. When he sees my panic, he says, “Oh, please!” He wants me to know he’s all right and quite capable of swimming on his own. I continue playing catch with him in the hot summer sun.

In my office at the seminary, I have a picture of Christian all dressed up in his baseball uniform, his right hand punching the pocket of the glove on his left hand. Last summer he played on a team in a league run by the city’s recreation department. He loved every minute of it. After one of his games, we celebrated (he always celebrates, whether his team wins or loses) at a favorite Chinese restaurant and, of course, opened fortune cookies when we finished. His fortune happened to read, You don’t know what you can accomplish until you try. I placed that statement as a caption under his baseball picture because it perfectly describes Christian’s attitude toward life.

Sometimes I wonder what kind of world this would be if Christian weren’t in it, if he had not survived his surgery or if we had lost him in those dangerous first two years. Or worse, if this child would have been killed because he was prenatally “diagnosed” with Down syndrome. For our family, of course, the world would be a different place, an infinitely lesser place.

Christian comes to the edge of the pool and I lift him up and dry him off. He tries to push me into the pool and, laughing, says in his halting speech, “Dad, you almost went swimming!” After dressing he asks me if we can go to McDonald’s for a cheeseburger — his favorite thing to do. Sitting across from him at McDonald’s, I look into those same eyes I first saw on the day of his birth. Then they were tentative and wondering. Now they are happy and filled with longings for swimming pools and cheeseburgers. I silently thank the Lord for giving this little boy to our family. I thank Him for protecting Christian from the dangerous society in which he was conceived.

DOSSIER: Culture of Death Issues

 

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What a fantastic article! I have always marvelled at what a blessing and a bright light children with Down Syndrome seem to be. It is so good to hear that parents with Downs children don’t wish the disability away. Thanks for the inspiration. Posted by: charing cross
February 01, 2007 11:05 AM EST
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Mine, Mine, MINE!!!!!

March 7th, 2007

Following her two year old instinct Lily has found the word “mine”!!!!  And everything lately is as she so loudly displays is “hers”….  So, you must beware because it is a complete free for all and she will be the first to tell you that it is MINE!

Lily had a major 2 year old tantrum last night - we were eating dinner and as I sat down with my plate of food which had the exact same food content that Lily had - she looked and pointed and screamed at the top of her lungs - MINE, MINE, MINE!!!!  And then she started crying and saying, miiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnneeeeeee!!!!!!  So, I try to soothe her  - hand her my plate thinking maybe she just wanted my fork…. But, uh no…..  She wanted my whole plate!  She grabbed it out of my hand and placed it on her tray and all of the sudden her tears dried up miraculously, she looked at me and smiled from ear to ear and said in her sweetest little girl voice  - mine! And then started eating….

Ok, so did I mention - that she is the boss????

Yep, I give in - she is the boss!

Today an angel earned his wings…..

February 23rd, 2007

Such a sad day as Mikey a 13 month old from my online support group passed away…..  My heart goes out to Danielle his mommy and her family as they get through such a difficult time of loss.  No words can express the loss that is felt everywhere…. 

Life is precious, life is short - hug your loved ones, let them know you love them…..  Be kinder, be gentler….

May God keep Mikey’s family wrapped up right now in his love…

 

New ears today!!!!

February 8th, 2007

Today Lily received her new hearing aids!  Well, actually they are loaners until she gets hers in, but since we just found out she has moderate hearing loss - this is all so new!  She really did not want anyone touching her today - so she had to give the Audiologist a really hard time!  But, once in she did pretty good for the most part!  She all of the sudden just sat still, but was looking around like WOW!  Scott (the audiologist) told us that Lily could always hear, just that maybe there were some sounds she did not hear at all and other sounds which would sound like a whisper to her!  I am on my way to sleep, so I promise to post more tomorrow about everything!  Thanks to all of you out there who have been thinking of my feisty little redhead!

Who knows what tomorrow shall bring?

February 3rd, 2007

Me and Mama!

We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another; unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. The past, present, and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present. We are made up of layers, cells, constellations.
 

 

Receptivity

January 28th, 2007

To Lily's cousin - she is no different - the innocence of being young..... Peter is oblivious to the ways in which society sees Lily as “different”, if we could all learn to judge less….

“FC: So paired with kindness would be another face of intention, what you call receptivity. No one and no thing is rejected?
Dyer: Exactly. Whenever you have a thought that excludes or judges anyone else, you aren’t defining them. You’re defining yourself as someone who needs to judge others.
FC: But don’t we all judge one another?
Dyer: Yes, we do. But doing that less is one of those things we want to practice. Anytime I judge another harshly, I always find myself feeling worse.”

I think each and everyone one of us are guilty of judging….  But, if we all make an effort to be conscious of this - how incredible would that be???
Just a thought…

 

I just wanted to start off by thanking all of my fans!!!!

January 27th, 2007

I just wanted to say thank you to all of my fans..... As she waves to the crowd…..  Yes, that is my sweet Lily who a few weeks ago was just hamming it up for the lens!

It has been a rough week for Lily, but she is on the road to recovery!  After developing a runny nose and cough Lily headed downhill quickly on Wednesday with major difficulty in breathing.  She was having chest retractions and stridored breathing and eventually after much consult with my awesome friend’s at T21 it was decided that we head out to the ER.  So, off we went for a not so fun-filled night of being poked and prodded and needles and breathing treatments!  Lily was not thrilled needless to say and gave each and every one of those fine doctors, nurses and techs many many of her infamous mean looks and scowls and unt uh’s!  They kept us in overnight to keep the breathing treatments going all night and to make sure she would stabilize.  Her sats dipped down to 86 a few times and when I was holding her down to get the mist from the nebulizer in to her mouth she was so MAD that her heart rate went up to 185!  Temper temper that fiery redhead of mine has, but hey can’t say I would want to be in her position either.  She sure has had her fair share of medical ordeals!  Finally, we received discharge papers at 5:30 am and after one more breathing treatment we were on our way back home to get some much needed sleep!

She is getting better each day - still getting breathing treatments and still has the cough and runny nose, but of course it has to run it’s course!  She is crabby crabby crabby today to say the least! 

We just want to thank everyone for saying prayer’s for Lily and for thinking of her and wishing her a quick recovery!  I have the best friend’s at T21 who completely understand me and my situation - sometimes that is all that is needed is to know that somebody else out there is on your page!  In a world where everyone is so quick to judge it is nice to have a safe haven where you can be free…  I also have an incredible family who means the world to me - I am so blessed!  Thank’s to all of you who have let me vent and lean on you through the many issues that I have been having lately!

It’s is all uphill from here!

 

Finally - my very first BLOG!!!!

January 22nd, 2007

After 2 years of this site being somewhat up - my brother Joe has been helping me to really get this thing going!  I am completely clueless on webdesign and he has been a tremendous help!  Hopefully, as the weeks go on it will just get better!!!

My name is Lisa and this site has been created for my daughter Lily Marlene!  Lily was a huge surprise to me and I am so very blessed to have her!  Along the pregnancy I found out that Lily would be born with an extra chromosome also known as Down syndrome or Trisomy 21.  The day I found out and the days after were full of so many feelings!  I grieved for her - it felt like someone had died - it was the most devastating thing I have ever been through in my life.  But, the days got fewer and farther in between and mostly I grew to accept Lily for whoever she would be!  I already loved her more than anything from the start - nothing could take that away from me. 

I have “Our Story” posted on the front of the home page so I will not go into all that detail!  But, we have come so far and Lily is just amazing!!!!  She is beautiful and sweet and mean and feisty!  She has attitude that can compare to none!  She has been the biggest teacher I could have ever imagined in life and everyday I thank God for that beautiful little soul who chose me!

We started this site 2 years ago when Lily was in Congestive Heart Failure and had just come home from the hospital after a 2 1/2 week stay for Bronchiolitis.  She came home on Oxygen and a feeding tube until her heart surgery 6 weeks later.  Those days were filled with some scary times and I am happy we are where we are today!

Lily also has a brother Dustin who is 19 and living on his own - she loves him so much!  But, when he does not come around enough - she gives him the cold shoulder - I love it!  heehee…

Hopefully, I will get better at this blogging and my creative side will come out in full bloom again!  

If anyone out there is lurking or needing any advice or has questions about Down syndrome - feel free to email me!

 

Welcome to Lily Marlene’s Blog!

January 21st, 2007

Thank you for stopping by and pardon the oops you may run into while looking over our web site. It’s being upgraded by my crazy uncle! Leave a message if you’d like.